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okay, i first thought that this was going to be a tirade about my peers, and how they allow the newest of the new to hijack a meeting because they believe that by allowing newcomers to do as they want to, share the mess of their lives before they walked into the rooms, and use language with a mixed message, that somehow, that is building a welcoming atmosphere of recovery. those same members always present a “positive report,” and IF they decide to share about the trials and tribulations of staying clean no matter what, they minimize, generalize and obfuscate their issues. saying i am having a tough time with a few relationships in my life is way different than saying that lately i find myself hating and being angry at everyone around me, because the do not give me the respect i think i am ENTITLED to.although i cannot really judge the motives or reasons my peers choose to go in that direction, it then becomes my DUTY to paint a more accurate picture of what life in recovery is all about. yes, i said duty, as in an inherent responsibility that i NEED to take on, because of my unique position in the recovery community. that position? a member with a bit of clean time, who knows that the only way i can keep what i have is to give it away, and i am not talking about anything on the material plane.
the question then becomes, how do i maintain a welcoming and safe atmosphere of recovery in my fellowship, if i am not kowtowing and praying at the feet of the newest of the new? well, at least for me, first and foremost it is to provide a balanced approach to what i share. i am cynical and because of that, my shares tend to be a darker than most of my peers, most of the time. that means that when i share, i have to look at the “bright side of life,” to balance out my natural tendencies. it also means that i focus on what my life looks like now, without a long and boring treatise about how it once was. sure i need to share a bit about how it was, i do NOT need to regale the group with the tragic-comical stories about the idiocy of active addiction, and when the newest of the new goes there, it is my responsibility to point out that maybe they need to focus more on the here and now and less on entertaining the group with the using day adventures.as they keep coming back, it is my responsibility to gently educate them about the message i carry and why it is important to me, to carry a clear and consistent message, using the language of my fellowship, rather than the memes, clichés and catch phrases one picks up from the treatment and justice systems. after all, the REAL task of any group is to carry the message to the still suffering addict, who may or may not be the FNG today.
so there you have it, my tiny tirade about what burns my grits about my peers, and what they allow in meetings. quite honestly, i am grateful that when i was the FNG, there was a whole different attitude in the rooms, and i did get smacked down after a bit of time, about carrying that mixed message. i am also glad, that no matter how hard the smack-down may have been, that the same members came up to me and explained the why and wherefores, of what they did, and how even i can carry the message of recovery to those who are still suffering.

∞ DT ∞