Blog entry for:
Wed, May 27, 2009 09:15:32 AM
Δ a challenge is anything that dares me to succeed Δ
posted: Wed, May 27, 2009 09:15:32 AM
things new and unfamiliar serve as challenges, whether those things appear good or bad to me. new and different, what an interesting thought to start off this day. although i hardly feel new, different or even improved this morning, i am certain that my life is all of those and more. okay so i am going off on a tangent here, and i think i will just let myself go.
so where was i, oh yeah, i was thinking about my life and how the new and unfamiliar has been and probably will continue to be a challenge for me. i am certain that i am opposed to change in my life no matter how much i whine about desiring change,. the new and unfamiliar when i was using was always a risk. oh not when it came to trying out a substance, combination of substances or delivery method, in those instances i was gung-ho and ready to roll. when there as an event, a person or a consequences that was new and unfamiliar, all that open-mindedness flew out the window and i was back to the same old place -- FEARFUL of what i did not know and had yet to understand. that behavior and reaction is still active in my life, and whether that is a trait that is part of being human, or one that is part of being an addict i do not know, nor do i care. what i want to do today, is to face the new and different as the challenge it is, and move forward through my FEAR, practicing a bit of courage.
in fact, just thinking about this and writing about this, cause me to become a bit anxious, so much so, i had to go clean out my desktop fountain, before i could continue. yes that task needed to be done, probably more that several days ago, bit i was unwilling to look at that. so when i got fearful, voilà off i went, hoping that this particular exercise would write itself and i would be done.
so it goes!
anyhow, i am at the end of what i have to say, i will move forward and see what this day brings and face whatever challenges, or better put what i perceive as challenges, head on and with all the courage i can muster. it is after all, a good day to move forward.
so where was i, oh yeah, i was thinking about my life and how the new and unfamiliar has been and probably will continue to be a challenge for me. i am certain that i am opposed to change in my life no matter how much i whine about desiring change,. the new and unfamiliar when i was using was always a risk. oh not when it came to trying out a substance, combination of substances or delivery method, in those instances i was gung-ho and ready to roll. when there as an event, a person or a consequences that was new and unfamiliar, all that open-mindedness flew out the window and i was back to the same old place -- FEARFUL of what i did not know and had yet to understand. that behavior and reaction is still active in my life, and whether that is a trait that is part of being human, or one that is part of being an addict i do not know, nor do i care. what i want to do today, is to face the new and different as the challenge it is, and move forward through my FEAR, practicing a bit of courage.
in fact, just thinking about this and writing about this, cause me to become a bit anxious, so much so, i had to go clean out my desktop fountain, before i could continue. yes that task needed to be done, probably more that several days ago, bit i was unwilling to look at that. so when i got fearful, voilà off i went, hoping that this particular exercise would write itself and i would be done.
so it goes!
anyhow, i am at the end of what i have to say, i will move forward and see what this day brings and face whatever challenges, or better put what i perceive as challenges, head on and with all the courage i can muster. it is after all, a good day to move forward.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
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☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 2
1) There is nothing in the world more soft and weak than water, and
yet for attacking things that are firm and strong there is nothing
that can take precedence of it;--for there is nothing (so effectual)
for which it can be changed.