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when i came in there was one cliché that i heard and hated the most, ‘you only have to change one thing, EVERYTHING!' i was certain that the only thing i needed to change back then was how i used. if i could only learn to use like "normal people" everything would be F.I.N.E. , and i could be off to living my life exactly like it was.
the desire and willingness to change was not something that came easily to me, even though i was beat-up and desperate i still resisted with my entire will. after all, did you guys not know who i was? a few steps and the loving, but firm hand of my first sponsor got me to a point where i could at least accept that some things needed to change. that initial willingness to change, saved my life and set me on the road to recovery.
to this day, i still resist the concept that there are things that need to change, not with the tenacity i once exhibited, but to the same effect, pain and misery until i get ready to allow the steps and the spiritual principles of this program to work. so i guess i am not "recovered" at all, and today is a new day to do my best to allow this way of life to change me into who i am becoming.
∞ DT ∞