Blog entry for:
Fri, Dec 21, 2007 07:21:51 AM
δ the freedom to change is acquired by working the Twelve Steps. Δ
posted: Fri, Dec 21, 2007 07:21:51 AM
when i admit my powerlessness, i counteract the lie that says i do not have to change. i accept the good and the bad in myself and with this acceptance, i become free to change. freedom to change is certainly is a gift of active recovery, one that on some days is hard to accept. it is on those days, that the denial of who and what i am is the strongest. fortunately i have not had one of those days lately, perhaps that is a function of where i am in my current step cycle, or just a function of my continuing growth process. in any case i am in the mindset of not trying to figure out the why of this process and just learn to accept that it does work.
yes, i am one of those that takes nothing on FAITH. there are many times i wish that i had that ability. i accept that and look to build my FAITH through the process of finding a preponderance of evidence. this is where the tricky part comes. if i am living in a state of denial, i will purposefully skew the evidence to support the conclusion i wish to reach. on some days that conclusion is that this whole recovery gig does not work, so why bother. thankfully i have not reached the final step in following that line of thought to its fatal outcome. on those days, i just muddle through the best i can, doing what i always have done and telling myself that i do not have to use, even if i believe that that recovery is not working for me. on the days when i skew the evidence in the opposite direction, recovery is so wonderful that everyone i know should be a part of this process and it is my mission to get them into the rooms and get them doing exactly what i am doing. the man with a mission is just as dangerous for my recovery. it is through attraction that the fellowship gets new members, and new members assure that the fellowship will exist, and continue to provide me the means to continue my recovery.
most days however, i find the evidence of what recovery has done for me mixed, but overall i find that there are more than enough positive aspects that having FAITH in the process of recovery to foster positive changes in me is justified and well worth my effort.
so i did go out on quite a tangent here, i am more than a bit puzzled about why i went down this path, but in the spirit of where i have been this morning, i guess i will just have FAITH that it is what i needed to say and sign off. after all, the process of living in the here and now does not always produce expected results, and i can accept that today, at least right here and right now.
yes, i am one of those that takes nothing on FAITH. there are many times i wish that i had that ability. i accept that and look to build my FAITH through the process of finding a preponderance of evidence. this is where the tricky part comes. if i am living in a state of denial, i will purposefully skew the evidence to support the conclusion i wish to reach. on some days that conclusion is that this whole recovery gig does not work, so why bother. thankfully i have not reached the final step in following that line of thought to its fatal outcome. on those days, i just muddle through the best i can, doing what i always have done and telling myself that i do not have to use, even if i believe that that recovery is not working for me. on the days when i skew the evidence in the opposite direction, recovery is so wonderful that everyone i know should be a part of this process and it is my mission to get them into the rooms and get them doing exactly what i am doing. the man with a mission is just as dangerous for my recovery. it is through attraction that the fellowship gets new members, and new members assure that the fellowship will exist, and continue to provide me the means to continue my recovery.
most days however, i find the evidence of what recovery has done for me mixed, but overall i find that there are more than enough positive aspects that having FAITH in the process of recovery to foster positive changes in me is justified and well worth my effort.
so i did go out on quite a tangent here, i am more than a bit puzzled about why i went down this path, but in the spirit of where i have been this morning, i guess i will just have FAITH that it is what i needed to say and sign off. after all, the process of living in the here and now does not always produce expected results, and i can accept that today, at least right here and right now.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
↔ willingness to change ↔ 242 words ➥ Tuesday, December 21, 2004 by: donnot∞ how can i counter my fear and denial ∞ 465 words ➥ Wednesday, December 21, 2005 by: donnot
δ fear and denial are the opposites of acceptance. none of us are perfect, even in our own eyes; δ 512 words ➥ Thursday, December 21, 2006 by: donnot
↔ i can sometimes become overwhelmed when contemplating … 438 words ➥ Sunday, December 21, 2008 by: donnot
δ i sometimes fear there is little chance of becoming the person δ 506 words ➥ Monday, December 21, 2009 by: donnot
⊥ freedom to change seems to come after acceptance of myself ⊥ 749 words ➥ Tuesday, December 21, 2010 by: donnot
√ in coming to believe that a Power greater than i am can help me, √ 480 words ➥ Friday, December 21, 2012 by: donnot
² freedom to change seems to ³ 485 words ➥ Saturday, December 21, 2013 by: donnot
¡ when i admit my powerlessness and ! 599 words ➥ Sunday, December 21, 2014 by: donnot
✸ acceptance ✸ 597 words ➥ Monday, December 21, 2015 by: donnot
☀ in my own eyes ☀ 487 words ➥ Wednesday, December 21, 2016 by: donnot
🌨 counteracting the lie 🌨 564 words ➥ Thursday, December 21, 2017 by: donnot
🍃 how far 🍂 522 words ➥ Friday, December 21, 2018 by: donnot
🏁 a long-time member, 🏁 407 words ➥ Saturday, December 21, 2019 by: donnot
🌬 freedom to change 🌫 456 words ➥ Monday, December 21, 2020 by: donnot
😕 i am far 🙃 523 words ➥ Tuesday, December 21, 2021 by: donnot
🥴 the good, 🤩 400 words ➥ Wednesday, December 21, 2022 by: donnot
🙂 honesty, clarity, 🙃 570 words ➥ Thursday, December 21, 2023 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 2
1) A master of the art of war has said, 'I do not dare to be the host
(to commence the war); I prefer to be the guest (to act on the defensive).
I do not dare to advance an inch; I prefer to retire a foot.' This
is called marshalling the ranks where there are no ranks; baring the
arms (to fight) where there are no arms to bare; grasping the weapon
where there is no weapon to grasp; advancing against the enemy where
there is no enemy.