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i was welcomed with a hug, a smile, and a warm **keep coming back.** this is the first place where i felt welcome in a long, long while. the problem was for me, although i was welcomed at that very first meeting, i was unready to be welcomed and it took seven more months before i was ready to really end my loneliness and join the freak show that has become my home. i use that term lovingly, although that was not how i originally meant it, way back when. needless to say, although i would not, perhaps could not admit that i had a desperate loneliness, today i know that was true then and could be true again today, if i ever decide to back away from a life in recovery.
so where am i going with this? well for one, on the days where i feel alone, i have a connection to a place where i am not really alone. it is that connection that makes me feel grateful, and one that i can express gratitude for right here and right now. quite honestly, way back in those final dark days, and even once i stepped into the light of recovery, the last thing i wanted was to end-up connected to the fellowship through an umbilical cord upon which i have grown dependent upon to survive and even more than that, actually thrive. to feel grateful for something i never felt i needed or wanted is incredible, and it is just one of the symptoms of my growth process.
anyhow, i could go on and on and fill lots of cyberspace with words that say the same thing -- but i will not. the time has come to move forward and get out into the streets. life is good today and i think i will just go with the flow and see what happens.

∞ DT ∞