ฮฑ prayer plays such a central part in my recovery ฯ
Posted: Fri, Oct 16, 2009 08:33:36 AM
it is a way to gain direction in my life and the power to follow that direction. alrighty then, i have been distracting myself from getting started on this particular blog for some unknown reason. i could write fifty or more words trying to get to the cause of my reticence at writing on this subject, or i could just jump right in with both feet metaphorically speaking.
i choose the latter…
as i have finished precessing the events of my 11th step, and garner a bit of understanding as to my spiritual awakening, i see why prayer had become an issue for me. there was time when i thought nothing of throwing in a quick foxhole prayer when my ass was in yet another sling, due to the consequences of yet another poor decision-making process. there was also a time when i prayed in a manner and form because someone i respected told me that he SUGGESTED that i do so. there was a time when i realized the power of prayer and it became a gift to Santa God. those time are long gone, and good riddance as that sort of nonsense would clutter my spiritual path these days. i am not the man who used those tools anymore, and as a result of this step cycle, things had to change, especially how i prayed. after much soul searching and more than a bit of stumbling around, i came to an accommodation with my current belief system, that is not spin and is now comfortable for me, the trick is to become as comfortable with this **NEW** manner of addressing the POWER that keeps me clean. as the reading suggests, practice is what is making that possible for me, and as i walk into this new spiritual life, i feel touched by something far beyond anything i can describe, and the word GOD is so inadequate that i choose not to use it.
how do i pray? twice a day at least, and with a new fervor that i lacked when i used to just phone it it. it takes more concentration to keep the act form becoming rote again, and it takes more than a bit of creative thought to keep it fresh day after day. practice will change all of that i am sure, not the form, but certainly the amount of effort that i need to expend upon it.
with that in mind it is time for me to take the dawg for a walk. life is good this morning, it DOES NOT suck to be me, and i think i will find what i can do to fulfill the plan that POWER has for me today.
i choose the latter…
as i have finished precessing the events of my 11th step, and garner a bit of understanding as to my spiritual awakening, i see why prayer had become an issue for me. there was time when i thought nothing of throwing in a quick foxhole prayer when my ass was in yet another sling, due to the consequences of yet another poor decision-making process. there was also a time when i prayed in a manner and form because someone i respected told me that he SUGGESTED that i do so. there was a time when i realized the power of prayer and it became a gift to Santa God. those time are long gone, and good riddance as that sort of nonsense would clutter my spiritual path these days. i am not the man who used those tools anymore, and as a result of this step cycle, things had to change, especially how i prayed. after much soul searching and more than a bit of stumbling around, i came to an accommodation with my current belief system, that is not spin and is now comfortable for me, the trick is to become as comfortable with this **NEW** manner of addressing the POWER that keeps me clean. as the reading suggests, practice is what is making that possible for me, and as i walk into this new spiritual life, i feel touched by something far beyond anything i can describe, and the word GOD is so inadequate that i choose not to use it.
how do i pray? twice a day at least, and with a new fervor that i lacked when i used to just phone it it. it takes more concentration to keep the act form becoming rote again, and it takes more than a bit of creative thought to keep it fresh day after day. practice will change all of that i am sure, not the form, but certainly the amount of effort that i need to expend upon it.
with that in mind it is time for me to take the dawg for a walk. life is good this morning, it DOES NOT suck to be me, and i think i will find what i can do to fulfill the plan that POWER has for me today.
∞ DT ∞