Blog entry for:

after speaking to the chronic relapser in my life and watching a film about a child molester trying to move beyond his obsession, i am in a very contemplative mood this morning. the reading was not what i wanted to hear, after all it does not apply to me or does it?
what is really up for me today is that i recently seem to be out of touch with exactly what GOD‘s will is. it is not that i do not find the time to pray, i do so twice a day and have since the beginning of my journey. nor is it that i am resistant to what i discover. it just seems to me that i am getting conflicting, vague messages and as a result am unable to determine what track i need to take across the trackless wilderness i call my life.
what i really think is going on, is that i am moving beyond what i am comfortable and familiar with and into a challenging and exciting phase of my path. i do not believe that i am wandering aimlessly, but rather i have lost what little semblance of direction i thought i had! and that is the clue that perhaps will unlock my dilemma today. what i need to do is let go and listen to the world around me for mew information, or maybe the same information presented in a manner that unlocks the mystery for me.
so i will stumble forward, open my ears and eyes and see what happens, after all if i had all the answers i would not a program of recovery to know how to live.
∞ DT ∞