Blog entry for:

of bewilderment, coupled with overwhelming angst, is an apt description of what i am feeling this morning. it may be Friday, but i am seriously wondering if i will actually be able to step away from work for the weekend. after the massive failure yesterday, in the middle of the day, and the fact that we have yet to find the “root cause” of that outage, those feelings are easily justified. as i sat and allowed myself to let go of what may happen and feel what is, i got some relief, at least in the here and now. as i attempt to put down into words, everything that is going on with me, i keep coming back to a cliché i offered up to my “ZOOM” sponsee ↝ WORRYING IS A LACK OF FAITH.
i am not all that sold on the power of prayer, as is evident about what i have written in the past. i do make a few simple ones, twice daily as part of my recovery routine and this morning i jumped out of bed without doing so. in fact, it was not until i saw the title of the daily reading, that i realized i had neglected part of my core routine. it certainly is amazing how quickly i can get all flustered, but even more amazing, how quickly i can return to being calm and accepting. i am not all that sold on the issue we saw yesterday being something that our servers caused, but i am sold on developing some scripts to detect the issue before it grows to a full outage, as it did yesterday. i have to rely on my FAITH on the POWER that fuels my recovery, to help me access the tools, skills and assistance i need to make that happen.
as i seem to have come back to where i started, it is time, to check-in, make sure one of my team mates will cover on the “proactive war room” and see if i can get some miles in before the figurative shite hits the fan. yes, i am grateful i have a job and that they pay me enough to live comfortably. i am also grateful that i have a POWER in my life that fuels my recovery and when i allow IT to do its work, things turn out in the manner they need to. taking a deep and calming breath, it is off to the salt mines, to see if i can move into a better day than yesterday.

∞ DT ∞