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i am willing and able to make responsible choices. although sometimes, i am not quite certain what they are!
this is a continuation from my share at the meeting last night. i have the enormous amount of new information that feels like is in a funnel, and the neck of that funnel is very narrow. in my 10th step last night and again in my 11th, this morning, i started to get a glimpse of what is going on within me, and where some of this mass quantities of new stuff may start to fit. one thing is for certain, i am asking to let go of my latest obsession, every single time it comes up, apparently, some of the stuff i thought as true was not and that is part of recovery. i made assumptions based on incomplete information, and although i was not totally wrong about what i thought was happening, in fact in most respects i was spot on. where my error lay, was in what that really meant to the people involved. everything subject to interpretation by me is subject to being in error, i get that this morning, and that is why i am not making a new decisions about what is mulling around inside of me this morning. i have more than enough stuff on my plate to keep me occupied without having to jump into the stuff of others, or even worse give away what little personal power i may have.
it was a wonderful weekend, and this morning i can accept that i am responsible for the consequences of my actions. i can live with that, and i can also live with the fact that i am responsible for using what little power i do have, to better my life instead of make it worse.
this morning, i want to live, i want to be better and most importantly i want to allow myself enough time to finish processing what needs to be processed and see where i end up at, when all of that is said and done.
what does that mean?
well perhaps new service commitments. perhaps an alteration in my relationships with sponsees. certainly an alteration with my social relationships and more than likely an alteration in my relationship with myself. i have a relationship with the POWER that fuels my recovery that will provide the framework for whatever it is, that is going on inside of me, and for that i am grateful this morning. so it is into the shower and down to the office i go, for another day filled with doing something new and different.

∞ DT ∞