Blog entry for:

by working the Twelve Steps with a sponsor.
so in what will appear to be a tangent, one of my co-workers, is constantly doing whatever they can do, to soften their work load. when they run up against an obstacle, instead of working through it, they refine the obstacle, much like the NSA redefines the English language, and eliminates the work. time and again, the powers that be fall for this behavior and allow it to happen. when it comes to taking responsibility for my life in reco0very, i can behave in a strikingly similar manner.
when i run up against a spiritual principle, that i feel is too hard to practice in the current situation, i redefine the situation to something that does not somehow apply to living the principles of recovery. a quick well this is only business aside, cover a multitude of sins, then the next statement has to be “after all, in the real world…” and BOOM there i am, sweeping something that i do not want to face under the carpet. great work when you can find it.
the reading, however, cuts to the heart of that argument, by basically saying that the longer i stay clean, the further along my journey of recovery i go, the more responsible i am for my life and my recovery. it IS my responsibility to apply what i have learned in the program to my everyday life, as well as give it away to those with whom i share space in the rooms. it is NOT my responsibility to bring every stray dawg into my house and give them food and shelter while they “find themselves.” there is no redefinition here, yes i can for the still suffering addict, yes i accept my responsibility to carry the message to them. that does not mean that i will carry them, nor will i do anything to lessen the burden of the consequences that they have brought on to themselves. you know, if one hooks up with using addicts, one will use, especially if that one is anything like me. so as i heard nothing from Texas, and nothing from Northern Colorado, yesterday, i could easily assume that my responsibility is over, and it basically is, in regards to those two addicts. today i have the responsibility to face life as it comes to me. some of it quite easy, i just use what i know. some of it not so easy, i have to apply the knowledge and wisdom of another, and some of it quite hard and apparently above my skill set. how i handle the third case is a reflection on how seriously i take my responsibility to foster my recovery. i could as my co-worker does, rationalize it away by waving my hands and redefining into someone else's problem OR, i can ask for the help i NEED from the POWER that fuels my recovery and allow that POWER to work in my life. i think i will exercise the POWER that fuels my recovery algorithm today.

∞ DT ∞