โ when i am acting on my own will and not that โ
Posted: Wed, Feb 22, 2012 07:02:25 AM
of the POWER that fuels my recovery, the result is dissonance in my life.
okay, where has self-will got me this morning? well not much closer to getting out of the door, and i feel rushed and hurried to really get going. i could continue to whine about that fact, or i could end this and get on down to Denver, right now, OR i could relax, go with the flow and allow myself to be present in this minute, write what i need to write and let the drive down take care of itself.
i choose to write and be present, right here and right now, as it were. the irony here,. is that the reading was more 10th step based than 11th, and yet i heard the whole STEP 11, theme. i take that to mean, that perhaps, i need to look at which of the three wills i am living in: self, true, OR HP's. that is not a question i have time to answer definitively this morning, but what i can do is at least inventory my symptoms, which brings me more in line with the main thrust of the reading.
today, anyhow, there is self-will running riot. the fact that i accomplished everything i NEEDED to do, is the true will part, the fact that i started 10 minutes late is more than likely HP's, as i slept right up to my alarm. the fact that i wanted this all to take 30 minutes less, and have been trying to rush everything? well that is self-will, trying to force a result to meet my expectation.
the solution? well it is to wrap this up, take a shower and accept that perhaps i will not be at my desk ay 7:15 AM this morning and be okay with that fact as well, allow the HP#39;s will to be expressed and see what happens. and that is what i am going to do, BREATHE and LET GO and allow this day to unfold as it will, at least right now.
okay, where has self-will got me this morning? well not much closer to getting out of the door, and i feel rushed and hurried to really get going. i could continue to whine about that fact, or i could end this and get on down to Denver, right now, OR i could relax, go with the flow and allow myself to be present in this minute, write what i need to write and let the drive down take care of itself.
i choose to write and be present, right here and right now, as it were. the irony here,. is that the reading was more 10th step based than 11th, and yet i heard the whole STEP 11, theme. i take that to mean, that perhaps, i need to look at which of the three wills i am living in: self, true, OR HP's. that is not a question i have time to answer definitively this morning, but what i can do is at least inventory my symptoms, which brings me more in line with the main thrust of the reading.
today, anyhow, there is self-will running riot. the fact that i accomplished everything i NEEDED to do, is the true will part, the fact that i started 10 minutes late is more than likely HP's, as i slept right up to my alarm. the fact that i wanted this all to take 30 minutes less, and have been trying to rush everything? well that is self-will, trying to force a result to meet my expectation.
the solution? well it is to wrap this up, take a shower and accept that perhaps i will not be at my desk ay 7:15 AM this morning and be okay with that fact as well, allow the HP#39;s will to be expressed and see what happens. and that is what i am going to do, BREATHE and LET GO and allow this day to unfold as it will, at least right now.
∞ DT ∞