Blog entry for:

i would love to move to the point in my program where i would do the work i need to do out of a desire to grow than in a response to pain. but, i am not there today, today i still have a pain motive to my step work. i am less nuts than yesterday however, and i am painfully aware of my character defects. it seems at this point in my recovery, i pain activates my character defects to deflect me from what i really need to be looking at. one of the defects that has been rearing its ugly head these days is my ability to take everyone else‘s inventory and then let then know exactly what it will take to fix them.
my daily inventory however, is starting once again to become a tool of recovery and i am actually seeing what i am doing instead of just going through the motions. i do understand insanity, especially mine today, and i am becoming more than willing to believe that GOD can restore me to sanity. i am actually better today than i have been in the past 10 days and grateful to have ALL of the gifts i have been given including the awareness of my character defects.
∞ DT ∞