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i give them the room they need to work things out in their own lives. as i sit here in DIA, i am surprised that i actually have time to get this written and more than likely posted before we take-off for Arizona.  even with a touch of melitonon and advil on board last night i slept awful. it was like the nigtt before my first day of school! so maybe this will be an on flight kind of thang, or maybe a long distance start to finish, it will be what it will be.
letting go and realizing exactly how powerless i am, especially over the addiction of my friends and family. i know intellectually that this s a true fact, emotionally, esepcially since my life is so much better, well that is quite a different thang entirely. i want to give them what i have been given. i want them to get better. most of all, i want to build strong and healthy relationships, and i know with those who exhibit the symptoms of active addiction, are more than likely incapable of healthy and equal relationships. where do i get this information from? i got form my experience in active addiction. as much as i wanted to, i lacked the capability to do anything but feign love, kindness and concern. they may asy they love and perhaps they do, to the extent that they can, but based on what it was when i was running and gunning, it is  all show and very little substance, not much different than a hollywierd movie or tv show.
a case in point, i have two men that may still call me their sponsor, who have decided that using is a good thing to do. although their orirignal excuse may be different the results are the same, a descent into the hell of using and being used, and volunteering to be a victim of addiction once again. me, i volunteered for victimhood for far too long, and these days it is an option i CHOOSE not to participate in anymore. ironically i have similar voluteers for matyrdom, right in my own family, and there is nothing i can do, and it hurts, it sucks and in the long run, how i engage with them, is up to me. pahse three in flight! no internet connection available, and who knows about data, even though i am being bad and have my electronic device in standard mode. life is okay, i can let go of those in my life who choose to practice active addiction or just using. on a side note this plane really sucks, only one bathroom, no Wi-Fi and full to the gills. so i vcan cut some frsh cheese to accompany that fine whine. life is good today and i GET to be a part of it. for that i am grateful and those who do not? well at least i can show them how omeome like me can be better that he was when he walked into the rooms.so. As the clouds close in i think i will take nap!

∞ DT ∞