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i must let my relatives find their own ways to recover. yes that is a fact and no matter how much i want to, i am powerless. i could go on, and there is certainly a lot i could write here, but in the long run, there really is nothing new to add. where i went today, as i was quietly contemplating what i read, was basically a tale of two sponsees. what i heard this morning applies to them, as well as it does to my family.
one sponsee has come back after a bout of using and facing consequences that were intolerable, the other has returned to a lifestyle, that may or may not include using, that will lead to consequences that he may not find palatable. the first one, never quite got the idea in the first place and had a million excuses why he could not do what was required of him, namely: “if you want i have, THEN you have to do what i did.” over and over again, he disqualified himself, for on reason or another and in the end, he used, he messed up the actions he was taking to improve his life and spent 30 days in the county jail. coming back to the rooms, the same suggestions that were given back when he was first starting out, were given again, and time will tell if his insanity overrules the part of him that wants something more.
the other? well he did his recovery in a very controlled environment, and when it came to facing the reality of what life is like out in the real world, his frustration and possible need for immediate gratification took him to a place where he no longer had the desire to live the lifestyle that recovery brings. the insanity of a quick buck and the illusion of power that comes with that lifestyle, was too much to resist. he too, drifted away from doing what i was taught to do and i certainly hope that his HIGHER POWER will provide him a soft landing.
although i often think about the men and women who come into the rooms and leave for one reason or another, i also realize that i am more powerless over their addiction than my own. in my case, i KNOW what i can do, to live a life free from active addiction and i can CHOOSE to do what i need to do, to keep addiction at bay, as it were. in the case of others? well i cannot MAKE them do anything, as i have tried in the past, with absolutely no success.
friends, family members, peers or sponsees, nothing i do, except provide a good example, can make them stop what they are doing, at least when it comes to addiction, until they want it more than anything eles. after all this is a program for those who WANT it, not necessarily for those who need it.

∞ DT ∞