Blog entry for:

okay, i have been awake for less than two hours and i am already frustrated.

... so it goes ....

and now i am ready to write about what is really going on. here i have been presented a challenge -- do the nearly impossible task of reporting on a process that changes daily due to customer requirements and present it in a manner that is simple to understand and shows us in the best light! what i am up against in years of culture that rewards mediocrity and is resistant to new ideas and processes, in fact the culture is hostile to new ideas.
just like me when i am living in my disease, i want to simplify the reality of the situation and define it terms that are simple for me to understand regardless of how complex the reality of the situation is shown to be. i am resistant, and, yes, even hostile to ideas that challenge my simplistic world view. so although i cannot change the culture in my workplace, i can change the culture in my own head, with the help of my friends and peers in recovery, my sponsor and those who have walked this path before me.
i understand why i am frustrated this morning -- i am looking into a mirror that reflects a piece of myself that i do not wish to see. when i get that view of myself i react in anger to the FEAR that i like my workplace will never change and i am forever doomed to be less than i can be. what i need to do today is LET GO of my FEAR, surrender my entire WILL to the care of GOD and replace my FEAR with the FAITH that GOD, the program and my fellow addicts will provide me a solution to my problem -- ME!
∞ DT ∞