Blog entry for:

that yesterday and tomorrow are in the care of the POWER that fuels my recovery.
just a bit of housekeeping:
yes Will you were right, the Broncos sucked last night,
i took care of arranging a face-time with my sponse, so i could move on to STEP 9,
the missive from hell has NOT been answered.
whew, ready to roll into the topic of living a THIRD STEP and what FAITH is all about for me, or at least some facsimile thereof. when i read about living in the here and now, and that this is a one day at a time program, i cringe most of the time. what generally follows sis some trite little bon mot, for example: the first one up in the morning has the most clean time, or the past is gone and the future has yet to arrive, why do you think they call it the present? while both of those statements are literally true, when i look at them, they signal a lack of FAITH on my part, as i cannot begin to speak of the motivations of others. literally or figuratively, for me, relying on slogans and clean-time, to enhance my recovery, is skating on very thin ice. for me, i NEED to have FAITH, that my sponsor and what he suggests is a reflection of the will of the POWER that fuels my recovery. the slogan sliders, well they too have a place and my trouble these days is to have FAITH, that something they are sharing is not quite as tries and ignorant, as i judge it to be. one of the gifts of recovery, at least for me, is to have a healthy dose of cynicism and critical thinking. that i am coming to believe happens to be what the will of the POWER that fuels my recovery, happens to be these days. why else would i finally be shown the path to come to terms with this inherent conflict, that has bothered me for so long. it is FAITH, that allows mew to do what i do -- surrender, tolerate and come to accept. it is FAITH, that also allows me to make plans for my future, yes that uncertain and nebulous concept that will never arrive, even though this is a just for today program. to live like as ostrich and ignore the fact that if i wake up tomorrow, it is probably a good thing i made a plan today, is pure lunacy, especially at this phase in my recovery. to ignore my past, and walk away from working the steps with a sponsor, is just as insane, and yet there are some, who act as-if they no longer need the guidance of a living breathing person to guide them through to the next step. they are a shining example to me, of what i do not want to become and just for today, i can see the difference between abstinence and real recovery.
in fact, i have enough FAITH this morning, to head on over to Boulder in the dense and patchy fog and get rolling on the task that is on my desk there. if an interview for another position happens to come through, well i have enough FAITH, that too is meant to be, and if not, i am truly happy where i am, so why fret over something that was just a diversion. in this sense, i can live comfortably in the bliss of FAITH, that the POWER that fuels my recovery, is doing for me, what i cannot do for myself. it is a good day to be clean and yes i have been up since 5:20 AM MDT, so you do the math.

∞ DT ∞