Blog entry for:

...cannot be erased. i need to be grateful this is so, for my past experiences have brought me to the recovery i enjoy today. that even sometime apply to the most immediate past. i started writing this earlier, but had to run and get some things done, so now i am wondering if i really do regret my past mistakes. this has been a time of great change for me in recovery, letting go of my mistakes and my behaviors has been tough lately, and i guess if i follow the suggestion of the reading i can use my recovery program and the knowledge i have gained as a result of my mistakes, to grow further than i ever dreamed. that is the clue for me, USING my mistakes, to frame my future decision-making. to use my past mistakes, to frame the risks i become willing to take. and using my past mistakes to provide ther experience i need to pass on to those who count on me to guide them along in their recover process. i know and accept that i had to use everything i did, for as long as i did, in order to get the gift of desperation that brought me to my knees. the part i have trouble with, is the mistakes i have made since accepting that i am an addict and my life is unmanageable as a result.
so it goes…
i have way too much to do this morning to write much more -- but my goal today is to let go and let the POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN do its work. it is after all, out of my hands if allow it to be.

∞ DT ∞