Blog entry for:

-- these are the results of faith in life itself.
and some days, i lack the faith to feel like i need to move forward, after all, i have needs and desires and what will happen if things just do not work out the way i want. :-((
so reading this little ditty this morning, opened my mind to the possibility that i may not be practicing the principle of FAITH to the best of my ability. and of course this comes down to whether i am living a third step. what the fuck is GOD’s will for me anyhow? i am clueless except that i am pretty sure that staying clean today is part of that.
so how do i let go of my will and actually live the third step?
well something i said last night at the panel i participated, echoes through the nearly empty halls of my psyche -- fake it until i make it! that is not quite satisfactory at this point in my recovery, but some days it has to suffice.
today, however i am willing to look at what i believe, what i want, what i need and separate out all those things for my life today. what is my will today -- to live as best i can in the here and now,plan to be in Cheyenne at 4:30, and make it back to home today. i also can look at all things i am grateful for toady and first off three thousand three hundred and twenty seven days that i have been clean. that little fact is enough to get me through another day.

∞ DT ∞