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i realized that these recovering addicts are not perfect after all! well maybe not quite so dramatic, after all, one must remember that i am a cynic, and back then, i was seeking the feet of clay long before the glow of early recovery wore off. it was not hard to see how human everyone was, and it gave me the perfect excuse to keep my distance, as a former sponsee once opined: “aren't they supposed to be acting better, after all they all say they are living by spiritual principles.

Speaking of which:
Tina B,
TWENTY-NINE YEARS of doing it
One day at a time.

and so it goes… here on the last day of my annual cycle, i certainly can get stuck in how little i have changed and how bad everyone else is doing. or the flip side how much better everyone else is doing and how stuck i am. what i realize, every day, is that i am human, as my sponsees are ever so kind in pointing out and no matter how hard i try to live up to the whole recovery guru image, it is a losing battle. instead what i find myself doing, is allowing myself to be human, and fallible and move into living up to being human, which for an addict like me, is quite an accomplishment.
no i realized early on, that if i wanted to find spiritual giants, i would have to seek them elsewhere. what i got in the rooms of recovery, was a collection of people who felt and reacted the same way i do to the mystery of living in the real world, and decided to do something about it. that was exactly what i needed and that is what i get, still to this day. my peers, whether they have 30 days or 30 years, provide me the clues that i need to live today, clean. that gift, far from the gods of recovery, that many see our members as, when they first walk into the rooms, is what i am grateful for today and will do whatever it takes ton reach my next clean dat anniversary, just for today.

∞ DT ∞