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it is terribly ironic that a single biblical phrase is part of everyday use and describes someone not being quite what they portray in fact, the implication is often that they held themselves out as better than the rest of us, and in the long run, they were just another flawed human being. the irony is that it is often members of Christianity that walk around as “holier than the rest of ordinary human beings” and everyone seems so surprised to find that they too are adulterers, pedophiles, liars and cheats.
enough of that soapbox, as i am far from perfect when i comes to portraying myself as better than i want the rest of you to observe.

Tina B,
3 decades of doing this gig.
Congrats!

yes, i still want to look better than i am, and i often use this and that to prove that my “brand” is somehow better than that of my peers.the truth is, my recovery is no better or worse than that of my peers, and if i standout, it is usually me diverting attention away from those parts of my life, i do not want others to see. just as those i criticized above do, i want to being a shining example of what is pure and holy, when i am really defiled and profane. i need to pull back from the brink here a bit, before i roll over the cliff into false humility and self-abasement. yes it is true that i am not “recovered” and that i did not “hang the moon.” it is also true that i have many days clean and i can honestly say that i do my damnedest to live the program of recovery i have been given. as a result of that, i can walk a bit lighter, cause less damage and be content that my progression thorough this journey is on-going, i have left the lobby of the “No Matter What” club, and have extended those principles to other areas of my life. as i have often heard it said, i ain't perfect yet, but i am sure a helluva lot better than i was when i came to the rooms.
so if you bump into one of my various character defects or shortcomings, do not be astonished as they are part of the package that i have come to love and accept, and they too are in their own transformation into something better. gotta get running, as i have a 7:30 meeting at bwork and i have been gone for nearly a week now. it is a great day to live this program, just for today.

∞ DT ∞