Blog entry for:

an interesting topic, and one i quite swiftly avoided a year ago, by going down a tangent about the Orwellian nature of current society. including but not limited new-speak and Big Brother. ironically my feelings about being politically correct or the government surveillance of its citizens, even though they have miserably failed to uncover any plots, save the half-baked ones, they themselves entrap hapless participants within, have not changed. those feelings, in fact are even stronger today, and although i could launch a tirade about this, i will leave that to another blog in the future past.
i have said that in my take on a HIGHER POWER, loving and caring, just do not exist. as i spoke of this to my sponse the other night, what came out of my mouth is that i am certain that the POWER that fuels my recovery provides me with spiritual abundance. i can call that gift “loving and caring,” hence without a major Jedi mind trick, i am back in the fold. i doubt i will be jumping up and down, shouting HALLELUJAH or baring witness any time soon, but i am comfortably ensconced in a notion of a HIGHER POWER, that allows me to be a part of, even though it is quite different than that of my peers. it appears that i NEEDED fourteen months, to sort all of this out, even though a year ago, i was quite certain the direction my spirituality was going to take. what i NEEDED was to find my path, become comfortable upon that path and learn how to share about that path, so my peers could learn from my experience, strength and hope.
the best side effect, of my lengthy journey on STEP ELEVEN is that i became comfortable with what my fellowship thinks a HIGHER POWER should look like and what, if any, attributes that POWER should possess. learning how to be comfortable, while being very different, seems to be what most of this journey ended up being about. i need not compromise any of my insights, my feelings or my notions, to be part of my fellowship. i need not cringe and squirm, when my peers share about their spiritual vision. this integration into the prevailing attitudes of my fellowship, was what i needed and the journey, while at times more than a bit rocky, has certainly been worth the effort.
privately, i almost never use the word GOD, however, when sharing with my peers, not a problem. loving and caring, falls into that same category as i have learned how to accommodate the views of my peers and my fellowship, which is what i am coming to see, this extension across the one year barrier of my step work seems to be all about. not my view, but yours! 🙉
name it whatever you choose to, but today i am quite comfortable receiving the spiritual abundance i am offered and am awake to the opportunity to act upon the abundance i receive. today i am quite certain that there is some sort of POWER greater than me, that provides me the means to stay clean today. today i can share that vision with anyone and trip over words that once made me cringe. today, i can get up off my a$$, ,maccept what htis day is offering and feel that no matter what, it is a good day to be clean.

∞ DT ∞