Blog entry for:

what is impossible for me to do for myself. there are days when i have no issues with this notion at all. there certainly is ONE thing that i NEED to have done for me, every day i decide to stay clean, just for today. that one thing is the power to do just that, stay clean. my FAITH is such that, if i allow the POWER that fuels my recovery, to provide me the strength i NEED to stay clean, i will stay clean, no matter what. other stuff? well not so much, i am not the sort of person who “prays” for things. although it might be nice to win hundreds of millions of dollars in a game of chance. i do believe that the POWER that fuels my recovery, provides me the opportunity to get what i need, as wall as some of what i want, if i wake up and pay attention to the world around me. staying awake is the key here, by not allowing myself to drift into the world of miracles and everything happens for a reason, i stay in a logical and yes, rational place, grounded in the here and now.
it has been a week since i lost my job and i am finding that i need to get out of the house more than ever. i went to my savings this morning and made a request to get some money out, knowing full well that it would take some time for them to get me my money. i have uncovered that these financial companies do everything in their power to make getting what is mine out of their clutches and into my hands. i am grateful that the wolves are not howling at my door and that i did not wait until the final second to initiate this transfer. i have a minute and i am sure it every second that comprises that minute to get what i want. so it goes, i am quite powerless here and accept that as fact.
next on my hit parade this morning, is getting my workout done, before the rain, snow and cold come barrelling down from Wyoming. even though my future is still quite uncertain, i am not a stress ball, quite yet. i attribute that face, to my relationship with the POWER that fuels my recovery. the calls keep coming in and i may not have a job offer yet, but i do have the possibility of getting one and if worse comes to worse, i might do a part-time gig at the cigar store. i have my Medicare and Unemployment applications in process, so what i am hearing from the universe is “not yet.” i hate that answer, but i get it and have to with that flow as well. so while the temperature is in the forties and the winds still mostly light, i think i will suit up and hit the streets, knowing that if i listen, i will hear.

∞ DT ∞