Blog entry for:

okay, yes i do have a problem this morning using the G word. it is no big deal and once again this too shall pass. however, i have no problem in accepting that a HIGHER POWER has given me the support and guidance i need to develop a new way of life. so what is up this morning when i cannot use the most commonly used name for THE POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN AND PROVIDES FOR ALL MY NEEDS? well i am sure that this reading has dredges up some of the misconceptions and connotations i came to recovery with, specifically about the nature of the divine and the manner in which i was affected by the force many choose to call "God". at times in my recovery i have struggled with this issue, but honestly once i really started to live a second step, the only problem i have is the use of a single word to describe a concept far beyond my understanding. there are a bunch of words i never have any problems with, nor am i likely to ever have a problem with. it really is quite ironic that as comfortable as i am with the whole HIGHER POWER concept there are days, hours and minutes when i lathe to use the word GOD and will go to great extremes to avoid the use of that particular word. i know that this is garbage from my past, and i no longer need carry it with into my present. i also know that GOD, as expressed in the fundamentals of the program that has given me this new manner of living, is not the hateful, wrathful, bearded, father figure, who rules the universe in a capricious and cold-hearted manner. so today when confronted about the ideas from my past, i once again retreat into the comfort zone of language, so i do not have to ask for that particular being to take care of me. and that is truly one of the greatest gifts that this program has given to me. yes our literature uses the word GOD over and over again, but nowhere in our literature nor in the way we run our meetings is that term pegged to the image i carry with from my religious upbringing. so i can comfort myself with a cocoon of words , surrender to THE POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN AND PROVIDES FOR ALL MY NEEDS, and allow that force to guide me through this day, knowing that any member i happen across today, any organized meeting i attend, i will not be forced to swallow a concept that still bothers me to this day -- truly freedom from religion, and i like it!

∞ DT ∞