Some memes

to reflect and fine-tune my approach to recovery, as i move through life clean. simply put, i certainly cannot stay clean on the recovery program i worked way back when i first became a member. it was more than sufficient to keep me clean and to propel me on my recovery journey and it is true, i still do many of actions that i developed in those early days, today. what has change and what continue to change, sometime way too quickly, is how i see my program of recovery and the places where i need to take the time to look at more carefully. as upsetting as that may seem to me at times, i am certainly a firm believer in the cliché that i cannot stay clean on yesterday's recovery.
after twenty-four hours of marinating on my THIRD STEP, i am not all that certain i have had much revealed to me. what i did feel as i took a dip in the void this morning was that things were shifting inside of me. as difficult as it was yesterday to slip into the quiet and allow myself to be taken away to the wherever, the wherever greeted and accepted me this morning and although i came away with no answers, i was certainly refreshed. even after running and getting my weekly chores completed, i am still feeling a calm that has been lacking for the past few weeks. i am fairly certain it is a result of working with my sponse, yesterday over breakfast and allowing myself the freedom to allow what he spoke about to sink in.
it is time to get rolling down the road and take my book with me to watch some football, enjoy a cigar or two and relaxing for the afternoon. today, just for today, i am in charge and responsible for my recovery program. i take the time and care to make sure i am not spinning down the drain. if i discover the plug has been pulled, i have the ways and means to stay in recovery and live another day clean.

∞ DT ∞