Blog entry for:

i often feel that when i let my real self show that i am being judged by my peers in both the rooms and in the real world.
as a result, the various masks that i developed over the course of my life come out to protect my fragile sense of self-worth and i end up hiding from those who can help me the most.
today's reading goes right to the heart of this matter
--- in order to strengthen my self-esteem, i need to have the courage to take off the masks and various personae that i have developed --- .
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

there are those darn spiritual principles popping up again all over the place, namely: COURAGE, FAITH, HONESTY, ACCEPTANCE, AND SURRENDER.
COURAGE to show myself for the twisted fVck that i am.
FAITH that by showing myself, my self-esteem will be enhanced and one more lie will be revealed and thus defeated.
HONESTY to express exactly what i am feeling and let it show.
ACCEPTANCE that i am exactly what and where i need to be.
SURRENDER to the process of the program and to the loving care of GOD.
i know that i am not unique in hiding behind my masks (or else this morning's reading would never have been written) nor am i unique in having issues with showing who i am.
when i choose to hide in silent brooding because i FEAR being judged, i lose the opportunity to help those who may have similar problems and the opportunity to get the help i need.
i understand that i have choices today and that if i choose to i can pitch my masks and recover.
-- DT --