๐ is knowledge ๐
Posted: Wed, Sep 13, 2017 07:42:26 AM
of a Higher Power that **something different,** i have been seeking forever?
]many of my peers, speak of having a GOD-shaped hole, which they tried to fill with substances in active addiction and a myriad of other things, since they got clean. i certainly get what they are saying and the reading this morning, certainly supports that notion.how do addicts such as myself approach this notion, when we follow a spiritual that that does not necessarily include GOD?
as i move deeper into the spiritual place i have found myself within, i often find myself looking for ways and means to separate myself from my peers. the whole notion of GOD, to one who is going in a different direction is the perfect foil. i can be spiritual as it want to be and still “different,” building a case against the local fellowship and my peers who are religious. that two edged-sword swings quite nicely to remove the chaff and chatter and i end up lonely, isolated and afraid.
most of what i am struggling with, as i sit here in Step One, is if i am doing my spiritual practice out of fear and superstition, what is left when i consciously decide to move along and adopt practices more closely aligned to my current spiritual path? what fills that hole, when GOD has been removed from the equation? i have already made the switch in my head to THE POWER THAT FUELS MY RECOVERY, but i am quite unsure where prayer fits into this new paradigm. do i pray twice a day out of superstitious fear, ritual routine or because i actually believe that it needs to be part of my spiritual practice? what i am discovering that the answer to that question is not the important thing here, it is the question itself. merely by exposing what it is that is eating at my spiritual insides, i GET the opportunity to where it is i am powerless and can make a conscious choice to find that something different, that i once believed was taken care of by consuming mass quantities of everything.
it is a good day to be clean and time to move along to my next stop of this day.
]many of my peers, speak of having a GOD-shaped hole, which they tried to fill with substances in active addiction and a myriad of other things, since they got clean. i certainly get what they are saying and the reading this morning, certainly supports that notion.how do addicts such as myself approach this notion, when we follow a spiritual that that does not necessarily include GOD?
as i move deeper into the spiritual place i have found myself within, i often find myself looking for ways and means to separate myself from my peers. the whole notion of GOD, to one who is going in a different direction is the perfect foil. i can be spiritual as it want to be and still “different,” building a case against the local fellowship and my peers who are religious. that two edged-sword swings quite nicely to remove the chaff and chatter and i end up lonely, isolated and afraid.
most of what i am struggling with, as i sit here in Step One, is if i am doing my spiritual practice out of fear and superstition, what is left when i consciously decide to move along and adopt practices more closely aligned to my current spiritual path? what fills that hole, when GOD has been removed from the equation? i have already made the switch in my head to THE POWER THAT FUELS MY RECOVERY, but i am quite unsure where prayer fits into this new paradigm. do i pray twice a day out of superstitious fear, ritual routine or because i actually believe that it needs to be part of my spiritual practice? what i am discovering that the answer to that question is not the important thing here, it is the question itself. merely by exposing what it is that is eating at my spiritual insides, i GET the opportunity to where it is i am powerless and can make a conscious choice to find that something different, that i once believed was taken care of by consuming mass quantities of everything.
it is a good day to be clean and time to move along to my next stop of this day.
∞ DT ∞