Blog entry for:

an overdose or a jail sentence is certainly not what i have planned for today, BUT some of the time i really wonder is that is my fate, should i choose to stop coming back. there was a time, when i was so passionate about meetings and the fellowship that i looked forward to meetings. there has also been long stretches of time, when i felt that going to meetings was an inescapable life sentence that i was obligated to commit to, lest the relapse boogie man jump out from the darkest corners of my mind and take me out again.somewhere between those two extremes, i try and find balance today. my DESIRE to stay clean is strong enough these days, to keep me coming back and coming back clean. i have another topic in mind this morning but before i wander astray:

Jon P
2 years clean!
Quite a feat of courage. Miss you, my friend.

moving along. something that has been weighing on my mind lately is where the fVck people who are paid to server customers got the notion that somehow they are the arbiters of racist and bigoted political correctness and are entitled to treat ANY customer with disrespect? this include law enforcement that drive around in cars that have “to serve” emblazoned on their vehicles. why is it cool to be a racist, xenophobic ass-wipes? who the fVck do they think they are? working in a coffee shop, or on a ticket line, or just a Mom, it now seems that calling the cops or making up rules on the fly, is all the vogue and when they get chastised for it, they always blame their “fear” or Ambien™.
the fact is, i was born to white male privilege. i did not ask for it, but i have certainly enjoyed the benefits of my accidental circumstances of birth. i cannot even begin to empathize with my fellow humans who were born with a different skin color or gender, as i will never walk in their shoes. i will not apologize for the accident of my birth, but i will be mindful of how i treat others, regardless of… so it pisses me off to no end, when i see petty little dictators treat anyone with disrespect, especially if the perpetrator is white and the victim is not. i have my biases and prejudices, i own that as fact. heck, i may even be a racist on some level. the fact is, i understand that and work to consciously choose not to treat anyone differently because of my biases and prejudices. the “alt-right” and the “Trump” that peddles fear, uncertainty and doubt, fills me with disgust. my only defense to the a$$holes that are spewing their ignorant and vile hate all over the place and being so smug and self-satisfied while doing so, is to live my life according to the principles that i have adopted since i got clean. respect,especially when i am paid to “serve” is to be given unconditionally, in my book and anything less deserves to be severely punished by those who pay my wages. white male privilege may be coming to an end and white bread Amurica is on the verge of being a minority. those are the facts of life. i can live with those facts, as my life has been easier because of what once was. clinging to that post by marginalizing others will not stop or even slow down the inevitable demographic change. my hope is that once i am on the outs, i get treated with the respect i give to others today.

∞ DT ∞