Blog entry for:

responsibility for maintaining my spiritual condition
so one measure of my maturity in recovery is the lengths that i will go to to maintain my spiritual condition.
HMMM!???
so today i could say that i am not quite there. i actually acted-out on a resentment that i did not even realize i had. in fact i was whining about it to another addict and he said it sounds like you have a resentment there and of course the first response that almost popped out of my mouth was fuck off, what i had to say was, yes you are right. and then of course i had to go admit that i was wrong, something i still hate doing, and reframe my response, using the spiritual principles i have been give across the course of my recovery, so maybe i am more mature than i give myself credit for, i am after all my own worst critic.
what do i do daily to maintain my spiritual condition? well i nurture a growing contact with the divine through prayer and meditation. i call the same addict everyday just to check in and see how he is doing. i take spot inventories and make corrections to my behavior as required. i take daily inventories at the end of my day. and most of all i try and pause before behaving to allow my recovery to catch-up with the part of my i call my disease before acting-out. of course this is what the ideal standard is for me and i do not always achieve this but i try and do my best to continue to grow into the person i was meant to be. and so i guess i am growing up in recovery and the results are to my liking, dang it! so i guess i will keep up that effort, at least for today!
∞ DT ∞