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now that i can no longer deny them, is quite a leap of FAITH. there are still times when i get envious of those who are in my life, still get to live in the cloud of denial that they have any sort of responsibilities. each and every time i think i might want to go back to that cloud and live a life “free” from responsibility of any type, BUT when i start down that path, i remember what i have as a result of living a life in the real world and accepting that i have stuff that i am responsible for, including my daily recovery maintenance.
today, i am caught between all sorts of responsibilities: work, self, my Mom and supporting my niece. all of these require my attention and none of them can be pitched into the bit bucket. as i get through this day and take care of my responsibilities, all of them, i can breathe and have a bit of FAITH that no matter what comes down the pike, i will have what i need to take care of them all. some days it really sucks to be an adult and i would love to go back to bed, pull the covers over my head and ignore the whole world. today is one of those days and as i take a deep breath and relax, i will deal with the next thing on my plate and deal with the rest as they present themselves. just for today, i can be an adult, live up to my responsibilities and be okay just being adequate.

∞ DT ∞