Blog entry for:

okay i have to admit it, i am more than a bit uncomfortable being someone who may be at any given time being what others see as an example of life in active recovery. yes, i know that this is a program of attraction and not promotion. i am also very protective of my anonymity. landing somewhere between those two **ideals** is quite a balancing act for me, on a daily basis. where i often end up is being way too serious as a result of overthinking this whole bit of walking a fine line. what i think i NEED to do is instead of thinking about how i am living up to the ideal, just “feel” my through to the next right thing to do.
moving on, i have not been going to a whole lot of meetings these days, and i am amazed that i am not in some sort of existential crisis. in fact, i am fairly cool, calm and collected. my only stress is finding then time to complete my coding test and getting it submitted. having a “fire” due to my own mistakes at work, and living a program that includes service commitments, is making it hard for me to eke out quality time to write this little application. where that leaves me is at a place of looking for something to give and what i see is no room to care for myself, take care of my responsibilities and be a good employee. once again, i am at the stage of overthinking and need to let this go as well.
where does that leave me? well, after all of that fretting, it leaves me ready to go hop in the shower, get ready for work and start my commute. i could write on and on about indecision and the choices i need to make to balance the various aspects of my current life, but to what end. i am okay just leaving all of that on the table and seeing what else may arise when i take the time to let go.

∞ DT ∞