Blog entry for:

so here i sit, pondering the meaning of life, the universe, and everything, trying to come up with a witty, clever and eye-popping blog entry for today. i already lifted my subject line from the reading and all of a sudden i am at a loss for words. so when all else fails, surf the net a bit and let my head clear out, so i can come back and face the reality of the twelfth step. for me, this morning, this reading works on a couple of different levels. first it talks about an actual twelfth step, you know sharing my experience, strength and hope with a potential member. i was taught and have retained the idea since i got recovery, that if i come out of a twelfth step clean it is a success. no other criteria is needed to judge that action.
the second level of the reading is the idea that i am a living twelfth step. that since the day i started to be a member i have been an attraction (or repulsion) for the fellowship in which i choose to recover. and that idea is spookier than any other, while the reading speaks about the positive side of my being a walking billboard, there is also a dark side to boot! after all, if i am acting out in a manner that is socially unacceptable, and i am identified as a member of the fellowship that has given me this new life, exactly how attractive will that fellowship appear at that moment to an outsider or potential member? so for me, at least today, the reading reminds me of my responsibility to my fellowship as a living twelfth step. i need to either not identify as a member by throwing away all my fellowship t-shirts etc., or live the program in public as well as in private. actually practice all these principles in all my affairs and be the kind of member who i have always looked up to. not too difficult of a task today.

∞ DT ∞