Blog entry for:

to be grafted onto my life. yesterday, COVID-19 finally struck my office as one of my team members was **let go.** i certainly have more than a few mixed emotions about his dismissal, as he was someone who after two plus years on the job, just did not **get it.** he was frustrating and slow to work with, and more times than not, i wanted to take over whatever he was doing and just do it myself. his dismissal, now means i am on-call every month, i have no one to back me up, if i ever get to take a vacation again and worst of all, no one to complain about with my other team members 😆! i am also upset about how the company just did this with no warning and what that may mean for myself in the long run. the job i thought was “safe” for the next thirteen months has quickly turned into a source of angst and worry.
what popped off the stack, this morning as i listened quietly to the universe around me and once again “over-meditated,” was a sense of urgency in upgrading my skills, polishing up my resume and starting to take an active role in looking for the next job on my career path. just as i had to step up my meeting attendance to deal with the odious presence in my home, now i have to do my job, practice some development by doing a new “green field” project and pay closer attention to what is going on around me. what i also heard is that perhaps giving that slothful leech a bit of a break from the judge, jury and executioner that rules the roost in my head, will relieve some of the stress i am adding to my life. they really are clueless about what common courtesy, pulling their own weight and being respectful to others is all about.
the other new idea that has come to me this morning, is that what i see and feel, may not be reality. i, too, may be living in a fantasy world of self-involvement and need to wake up and smell the figurative coffee. as i get ready to head out to get my daily caffeinated beverage, one thing i can be =certain about is this, i have not cornered the market of the ideas, notions and facts i need to live a life in active recovery. maybe, just maybe, those of my peers who string together one cliché after another and share ONLY about the rainbows, have the correct idea after all. perhaps it is time to spin everything i see and feel, in a positive direction rather than seeking the balance between yin and yang. probably not, but it is something to consider, just for today.

∞ DT ∞