Blog entry for:

of kindness certainly has brought me back to the human race, after decades of being isolated and self-centered. when i was using and while i was merely abstinent, when i appeared to act in kindness, i was actually playing the zero sum game of tit-for-tat, if i was kind, i expected kindness in return. when others were kind to me, i always wondered what i would “owe” them in return and begin calculating the costs and consequences. it was not until i actually began my recovery that i started to “get” that being kind was just the next correct thing to do.
as i stayed clean and piled up a few days, i slowly but surely arrived at the place where i saw that being kind actually cost me very little and the payoff in self-worth and self-esteem was immense. in fact, being kind, on my part, does not even require acknowledgement from the object of my kindness, although i certainly have learned to express my gratitude to those who are kind to me. i am not quite sure when i lost my connection to my humanity, and in the long run, it does not matter. being part of humanity is a gift of recovery and certainly a symptom of my restoration to sanity.
this morning, as i come to the end of this little exercise, i feel that there will be numerous opportunities for me to show a bit of kindness, courtesy and respect to those that happen to cross my path. being kind has become just part of what i do and who i am, ninety-nine percent of the time. in that other one percent? well there is always the corrective part of STEP 10 (🤢) to take care of those “slips!”

∞ DT ∞