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and of course the last thing i want to admit , is the possibility that i may have a closed mind. after all, i have been doing this whole recovery gig for nearly 3500 days in a row now, and one would think that as a result, my mind would be totally open and without limits to new ideas. well what one would think and the reality of the situation is are two different things, at least in this respect.
it is true that i am more open-minded than the day i walked into the rooms. it is also true that i am more open-minded than the day i decided to start my recovery. it is more than likely true that i am more open-minded than i was even a year ago. however i have yet to achieve a state of complete open-mindedness, and that does is not a failure on my part, nor is it reflective of the ability of the program to bring about the massive change needed for me to recover. what the above admission reflects at least in my mind is growth and a reduction in the amount of denial i have about who and what i am. by admitting that i am less than perfect, i am actually allowing the program to work, by admitting that i still have areas in my life that i have yet to let go of and surrender into the care of my loving HIGHER POWER, i am demonstrating a level of willingness that is unparalleled in my life.
yes it is true that a new idea cannot be grafted on to a closed mind, i accept that as fact, so it is up to me to work on becoming more open-minded and less judgmental. my job right now, is to become entirely ready to have these and all my other defects of character removed. so will i be more open-minded as a result of this reading and writing exercise, one would certainly hope so, but i am human after all, so i will see what happens as i live through this day. it is the best of all possible worlds for me, a bit of willingness and a bit of honesty can go a long way in creating the sort of man i have always wanted to be.

∞ DT ∞