Blog entry for:

this morning as i spent more time than i normally allot to sit, what came to me was something my sponsor told me years ago., about this whole notion ow what GOD is and how i could approach that topic, for myself. at that time i was coming to the understanding that drives my recovery today. i had the desire to get into a whole theological discussion with him, delving into the nuance that i was so excited to finally see. what ended up happening is that he steered the conversation into an entirely different direction with a simple, zen-like sentence: “GOD is GOD.” at that time, i was incapable or unwilling to grasp that notion, but as time passed, it dawned on me, that i did not have to KNOW or DEFINE, all i had to do was ACCEPT.
my sponsor, as wise and all-knowing as he appears to be, has provided direction to me for quite some time and even though there have been moments when i felt it might be time for change, i keep coming back to that moment and the difference it made in my struggles to become comfortable with GOD, as i understand or misunderstand GOD.

Carlos G.
Congrats on thirty-seven (37) years clean!
Thank you for lighting my passage through recovery.

when i struggle with what is, i remember that simple phrase and i realize that i do not have to resist whatever force is keeping me clean, nor do i have to conform to what i think my peers find acceptable. heck, i can even say GOD without a catch in my throat or looking up in the sky for that thunderbolt i used to believe was going to strike me dead. i can say, that forced isolation has driven me to seek within myself, the answers that i thought had eluded me for so long.
this morning, i have to prepare for a meeting to “fix” an issue at work, so i will not go on and on about what GOD is or is not to me. i have been down that path many times before. what i will say is that as a result of my spiritual growth, what was once static and fixed, has become more fluid and changing. i have a path that leads me to a place where i can be serene and feel fulfilled. that spiritual path has been integrated into my recovery process and is the foundation of all that has meaning in my life today. today, as cynical and “negative” as i often am, i see a bit of light and get to share that as well, just for today.

∞ DT ∞