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what expectations am i harboring today? an interesting question, considering the inner turmoil i am going through with all the change in my life. i feel like my poor dog Odin, wondering when am i going to go home, not quite accepting the fact that i am home! part of that feeling comes from everything being suitcases and boxes, and that will change as the day goes on. and part of it is me trying to deny that i have really moved in with the woman i love and am starting to merge my life with hers. none of this will really matter if i choose to use and run away from the situation.
but instead i went and shoveled off our new deck
so i am doing okay today, i will not use no matter what and i will look forward secure in the knowledge that this is the next right thing, that i am loved and in love and that the POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN AND PROVIDES FOR ALL MY NEEDS, is taking care of me.
is moving in a reservation, probably. i have never had any good results in the past when i decided to move in with a significant other. the end was always disastrous, but i am not that man anymore. i have tools that help me LIVE in the her and now, and i will share about the landmines that i encounter as they come up. will everything be easy, no i do not believe so. we are both very independent people who have managed quite well on our own. not that any of that matters it just is and life will go on. Odin will accept that this is our new home, just like i will as the days pass and i become more comfortable in my new situation. regardless of what the part of me i call my disease says, this is the next right thing!

∞ DT ∞