Blog entry for:

permission to use when they come true - as they often do. well hopefully the second time will be the charm. i had more than a few squirrels, and in fact the entry i started was as squirrel filled as my head. what others are doing, need not affect my recovery. almost went down that path again, so that tells me, i need to be quick and stay focused on what the topic is for me, namely my recovery and stop tying my recovery to the behaviors of others.
do i have any reservations? well a year ago, when i wrote about this entry, the answer was probably no, but in the interim the second of my so-called holy trinity of favorite substances has become legal and very socially acceptable, so there was a bit of should i or shouldn't i, for a few weeks there, i decided that like booze, it is something that i do not need in my life, just for today. a big fat glaring reservation, that i did not even have a clue was running around inside of my squirrel cage. what that tells me, is that i have some 'splaining to do, and right here and right now, there is not enough time, nor do i have the presence of mind to do a thorough inventory of what may take me out. what i can and will do, is move down the road to work, and ponder on my drive, what other reservations i may have around the very issue of what is legal and socially acceptable and how that affects my state of well-being. it is a good day to be clean and i am grateful i am not burning my life down, by doing the next right thing for my recovery program.

∞ DT ∞