Blog entry for:

daily effort to modify my behaviors that cause harm and strife in the world is an ongoing process, for this addict. as i start to get comfortable in my new skin and see myself as i have always been, but been afraid to acknowledge, the biggest indirect amend i see is learning who this guy is and how he interacts with the world, for real. i still want to hide in plain sight and make sure no one sees me.
this morning, what i heard as i took the time to listen is that no matter what may be going on at home, at work or in the world at large, i do not need to run and hide anymore. letting go of all the stuff that as been causing me angst and allows methe freedom to just chill and relax. as i start each day making plans with the love of my life about what we want to do today, i get a sense of being a part of, rather than away from it all. i can see thatb this amends cycle is going to be one of the most difficult one i have ever done, as most of the amends i see coming my way will be indirect, the BIGGEST being, learning how to honor, love and care for this new person that i have finally started to see.
on that cheery note i think i will put this baby to bed and get ready to get out and about for a day in the woods. yes, there is work to do, daily, on being something am not used to be being. yes i stumble and fall on a daily basis as i try and suss out who this guy is, but just for tday it is worth the effort.

∞ DT ∞