Blog entry for:

the problem or to the solution, is always a great question to consider. i know that i have often used the stuff i know as a lethal weapon to enhance my own status. i also know that was part and parcel of who i was when i walked into the rooms and was one of those shortcomings, tha was very long in going. sitting here this morning, looking at who i am now, there is more than a bit of guilt and as a good Catholic boy, some wailing, gnashing of my teeth and a few thousand “i'm not worthys.” the reasons why i did what i did are no longer relevant, i can say i was sicker than i am now and leave it at that. moving on from self-abasement and abuse:

Steven D,
CONGRATS on TWO(2) years clean!
what a year it has been, thank you for being here.

this morning, as we plan our next vacation activity, am struck by how unwilling i am to play the games that i used to find so engaging. i may be far from clear on who i am, but i do know that i do not want to stay the way i was. sitting a few hundred miles from home, where the biggest concern of the day is whether to take the fast route or the scenic route to get to a hot spring soak, i can see that i may be way overthinking the stuff in my life i find less than agreeable. what i am hearing today, after three full days away from the grind, for the most part, is “silly boy, just be!” i can just be today, and allow the rest fo the world, including my life at home, to just happen as well. it is, after all, a GR8 DAY to be clean. 🤔 😁

∞ DT ∞