Blog entry for:

was part of who i thought i was, for so long, i never believed i could be freed from it. i know all about making myself feel better about me, by making others feel worse. it was a well-practiced behavior and one that sailed many of my relationships into the shoals of dissolution, which at the time, i blamed the party i had wronged. today, as a result of the steps and learning how to live a program of active recovery, i very rarely fall down into a well that requires demeaning and belittling others to feel better about who i am. i have learned to choose a better way to deal with life and that choice allows me to see in myself, what i thought i once lacked.

Steven D
Congrats on THREE (3) years clean.
Thank you for being a friend and a sponsee.
Now about the Fourth Step…

so the past twenty-four hours have not been the best ones in my life. our hot water heater died and the plumber in the fellowship who specializes in tankless ones, is out of town, so i have to pay retail, rather than the “friends and family” prices. life will go on, i will use the shower at the Rec Center to hose off my workout “glow” and see how washing clothes in just cold water works out for me. the big bummer part of this whole affair, is that had we been paying better attention, we could have avoided all the water on the floor, the mold that sprouted and had hot water the very same day. finding out at 2:00 PM Friday afternoon, does not make for quick or inexpensive repairs. this first world problem, is seen by me, as a catastrophe requiring instant fixing.
the basement floor is mostly dry and has had a very liberal application of Lysol foisted upon it. the tank is mostly empty and a towel is catching the final drips from the remnants of the rusty water. the disaster has been mitigated and i am grateful now, that the only question is whether i pay cash or put it on a credit card. once again, a very first world problem that need not be decided today. right now, i am going to relax, perhaps enjoy a cigar in the back yard and let the world spin as it will. letting go of what may come, is certainly a great course of action for this addict, this afternoon.

∞ DT ∞