∞ listening as others share their experience ∞
Posted: Wed, Apr 5, 2006 12:27:26 PM
it seems like a century since i had a chance to read the just for today entry and it has only been six hours. it has been one of those days where i had to go from sleep to being active and present in a minute. it included an ambulance trip to the hospital for my significant other after a few phone calls, and four hours of waiting to find out she is okay and needs bed rest for the next three days in order to recover.
so now after all that, the time has finally come to muse a bit about what the significance of the reading is about for me today! not to long ago, i had a heated debate over the difference between war stories and identification in meetings. although she has much more time than i do, she seemed to think they were the same thing and that war stories were necessary for newcomers to start the process of identification. i believe that they are two totally different things and often work at cross purposes. for me, knowing what, when and how someone used was really irrelevant when i first came to recovery and often started the whole "oh i am not nearly so bad or i am way worse than that" conversation in my head, preventing me from hearing what they were sharing about important things.
what i wanted (and got!) was that there was hope for me, and that i was similar enough to those who had gone before me that what worked for them, may work for me. the first time i heard another addict sharing about using their feelings away it was like someone had reached into my scalp and implanted a device to read my mind. it was a shock, and the person had not even used what i did, nor had they used nearly as long. but they used for the same reasons! and knowing that i finally thought that maybe just maybe this whole twelve step gig would work for me too! and that was the first time i ever identified with anyone else, and there was the very first spark of HOPE for me. so when i share i try to focus and feelings and thoughts and leave the drug tales by the wayside as much as possible. after all, my experience may save another addict‘s life, just like me!
so now after all that, the time has finally come to muse a bit about what the significance of the reading is about for me today! not to long ago, i had a heated debate over the difference between war stories and identification in meetings. although she has much more time than i do, she seemed to think they were the same thing and that war stories were necessary for newcomers to start the process of identification. i believe that they are two totally different things and often work at cross purposes. for me, knowing what, when and how someone used was really irrelevant when i first came to recovery and often started the whole "oh i am not nearly so bad or i am way worse than that" conversation in my head, preventing me from hearing what they were sharing about important things.
what i wanted (and got!) was that there was hope for me, and that i was similar enough to those who had gone before me that what worked for them, may work for me. the first time i heard another addict sharing about using their feelings away it was like someone had reached into my scalp and implanted a device to read my mind. it was a shock, and the person had not even used what i did, nor had they used nearly as long. but they used for the same reasons! and knowing that i finally thought that maybe just maybe this whole twelve step gig would work for me too! and that was the first time i ever identified with anyone else, and there was the very first spark of HOPE for me. so when i share i try to focus and feelings and thoughts and leave the drug tales by the wayside as much as possible. after all, my experience may save another addict‘s life, just like me!
∞ DT ∞