Blog entry for:

i always have been, is not the way i have to always be. this morning after commuting to the office the past three mornings, i am amazed at how calm and relaxed i am, as i get to work from home today. i have yet to feel the rhythm of this job, but i am starting to see how my mornings may go, as things progress. i know that getting my daily miles done, has taken a bit of extra effort the past three days and i have almost got that part figured out. this morning i will get to see what the effect of two very light days, has on my ability to get through those steps with some speed and panache. that was not what i actually heard this morning, but that idea made a nice entry point to what i feel the need to write about this morning.
when i consider what i have always been and look to what i may become, i am often stunned by how far i have actually progressed. this week has been quite an experience for me and listening to what my manager said yesterday, i feel a bit more confident that i might make this gig work out for me. i feel “at home” with this team and certainly am ready to take on my first task, today. i also have come to the place where i no longer have to hold what someone once did to me, against them. this is totally new and certainly without precedent in my life. for me, what one did to me was something that needed to be addressed at the worst possible time for them, in an guerrilla warfare ambush manner. it was all about getting more than even with those who had trespassed against me. today i allow the universe to address those issues and allow myself to be freed from the obligation of having to be an angry and surly avenger of what once was. the past, after all, has passed and the opportunity to respond and react to what was, is long gone.
i am okay with who i am today and can leave who i once was, in the past. oh no, do not get me wrong, this is not an editing and cleansing of what was, just accepting and moving beyond that. it is time to suit up and show up for a bit of physical activity. those forty pounds i lost are not gone forever and can be restored to their former glory, if i CHOOSE to allow that to happen. today, i CHOOSE not to go down that path, as i no longer want to be that man. it is a good day to be clean and a good day to take care of myself: physically, emotionally and spiritually.

∞ DT ∞