ฮด in recovery, all doors are open to me and i have many choices. ฮด
Posted: Sat, Mar 24, 2007 01:00:05 PM
my new life is rich and full of promise. While i cannot forget the past, i do not have to live in it.
it has certainly been a day of dealing with living in the past for me. the events since i got up this morning have been more than enough to make me want to move into the present again, yet i find myself clinging to the familiarity of living over and over past events and my part in them. and i am not talking about the ancient past when i was using, not by a long shot i am speaking to the very recent past like the past twenty-four hours. so here i sit two hours behind schedule waiting for the inspiration and energy to move on and ruminating over the outcome of an event that occurred yesterday.
well you know what? the time has come for me to let go of what did or did not happen, accept that the results were not to my liking and see what i can do to salvage this day.
in fact i believe i will go to the grocery store and accomplish something real as soon as i finish my little rant here. so not knowing who will read this brief dive in to my silly little mind, i have been purposefully vague as to the events that i am holding on to. and truthfully they really are quite irrelevant since they have already transpired and i can second guess myself all i choose to, the end result is that i will end up bloody and twisted and today that is not where or what i want to be,
so hasta la vista recent past and on to the next right thing. after all it is another moment in a very full day.
it has certainly been a day of dealing with living in the past for me. the events since i got up this morning have been more than enough to make me want to move into the present again, yet i find myself clinging to the familiarity of living over and over past events and my part in them. and i am not talking about the ancient past when i was using, not by a long shot i am speaking to the very recent past like the past twenty-four hours. so here i sit two hours behind schedule waiting for the inspiration and energy to move on and ruminating over the outcome of an event that occurred yesterday.
well you know what? the time has come for me to let go of what did or did not happen, accept that the results were not to my liking and see what i can do to salvage this day.
in fact i believe i will go to the grocery store and accomplish something real as soon as i finish my little rant here. so not knowing who will read this brief dive in to my silly little mind, i have been purposefully vague as to the events that i am holding on to. and truthfully they really are quite irrelevant since they have already transpired and i can second guess myself all i choose to, the end result is that i will end up bloody and twisted and today that is not where or what i want to be,
so hasta la vista recent past and on to the next right thing. after all it is another moment in a very full day.
∞ DT ∞