Blog entry for:

has been deadly serious over the past few years and the laughter and camaraderie i find with my peers in recovery, keep me coming back. i am once again going to Montana for a funeral, i have lost two jobs, my Dad died, my sister is moving to Missouri and my Mom seems to be stuck in her recliner. oh yeah, i am once again fasting for a medical procedure, so am hungry and more than a bit on the grumpy side. 😭 😭 😭 all of that aside, and that is a lot to put aside, when i look at my life, i see that i am fairly content with what i have and where i am going.
this morning, i was not able to really let go and listen, as my mind went in a hundred different directions. i have work stuff, personal stuff, health stuff and family stuff going on, and all of that crashed over me like some sort of tsunami this morning as i attempted to listen quietly. the message i get from that experience, is to slow down, breathe and just let go for a few minutes, which is my plan after committing this to the bits and bytes of the inter-webs. on a morning, such as this one, i find it better to allow myself the freedom to gripe quietly, instead of keeping my frustration in. i swallowed a whole lot of feelings over the course of my life and all that got me was angst and suffering. this morning, i am going to get dressed, hit the road for a few miles and the allow this day to unfold as it will. no telling what the day may bring, but one thing for sure, i am committed to staying clean, just for today and perhaps that, in and of itself, will help me to achieve a bit of semblance of sanity in this moment.

∞ DT ∞