Blog entry for:

is not fueled by wishing and dreaming! i got to where i am today, through perseverance, hard work and allowing myself not to **know** all the answers. i may not be actively working any of the first nine steps, these days, BUT i do work STEPS TEN, ELEVEN and TWELVE, each and every day. my due diligence in keeping myself grounded in the steps and recovery, allows me the FREEDOM to live each day to its fullest, when i choose to do so. that, is the most important distinction in whether this addict is climbing towards spiritual heights or spinning down into the oblivion of mere abstinence and relapse.
what is true for me this morning, after a restless night on the “shit train,” is i am pretty sure i will be spic and span for my procedure this afternoon. i also am pretty sure that i may be having breakfast at 2:30 this afternoon, as i know i will be very, very hungry and oatmeal will be a nice respite from volunteering to be poked and probed, because i care about my health. continuing down that rabbit-hole, as it were, i need to get dressed out and get a workout under my belt. i may even take the advice of my significant other and walk, don't run around the 'hood.
listening to the quiet this morning, was tough, even though i went over my “allotted” time by two minutes. 🤭 i was distracted by my growling belly, dominated by my sense of hunger. i am far from spiritual enough to ignore my physical condition, however if i keep at it, perhaps some day i will be a yogi of recovery. so it is time to don my raincoat and get some steps in, before i have to finish the wonderful concoction that is cleaning me out, from top to bottom.

∞ DT ∞