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will not keep me clean today, nor will either one foster spiritual growth. once upon a time i believed i could will myself to stay clean and grow in my personal life. i bought into the notion that if i believed it, it would be manifested in my life. fortunately, for me anyhow, i was cynical enough to doubt that outcome and decided that perhaps, just maybe, if i put some effort into this recovery gig, what i was wishing for, just might be manifested in my life. to my surprise, by owning my recovery, taking responsibility for it, my spiritual condition improved. one might say that i drank the “Kool-Ade” and had my perspective altered by one hundred and eighty degrees.
becoming a true believer in the recovery process as demonstrated by my predecessors, opened the door to all sorts of new ideas and notions. what i really began to see, is that for me, i had to live a program of active recovery and to this day, that is especially true. i have reached the point in my step work, for right now, where i can can thrive by being diligent in applying STEPS 10, 11 and 12 in my daily life, every day. i still have bad days and days where i think i can do this by myself. i am far from “cured” or “recovered.” i do get to live my life free from the ravages of active addiction and that is because i have FAITH that IF i do what is in front of me, live the spiritual principles that i have been given, everything will be okay, even when it is not. so it is off to work and into the world, doing my best to live an active program of recovery, just for today.

∞ DT ∞