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recovery is not fueled by wishing and dreaming, i have discovered, but by prayer and action,
dang it, i hate the fact that just not using is not enough to maintain my spiritual growth, some days anyway. but today i realize that if i want more i have to do more, you know those silly little things that have been told to me since i started coming around: prayer, step work, meetings, working with others and reading the literature.
still i am a lazy slob with expectations and the belief that somehow i am entitled to certain things -- that has been a fact since i was struggling to stay clean nine years ago and it is still a fact today. just because i have managed to stay out of the way to get some days of abstinence behind me does not mean that i have recovered at all. WAHHHHHHH!
the truth is that i have worked a few steps and have been to a few meetings and worked with my sponsors and sponsees since i finally decided that maybe i had a spiritual problem that needed a spiritual solution and started on this path of recovery. and i accept as true the fact that if i want freedom from active addiction than i need to do what has been suggested by those who have walked this path in front of me. i realize that my path is not theirs, but the similarities far outweigh the differences and their experience can be a guide to the potholes along the way.
so the real question is, do i want to continue the upward climb of this path or do i want to start the downward spiral into the black and dank abyss of active using? the answer is.... (drum roll please).... YES, i am willing to do what ever it takes to continue my spiritual growth today!
so off to the races and into a bright new day (a little sunshine there for those who may need it!)

∞ DT ∞