up or down
Posted: Mon, Aug 16, 2004 04:52:01 AM
... sorry i was out of town on a mini-vacation and did not write, and events conspired against me writing yesterday... so it goes.
i do need the reminder that i must work on my spiritual condition on a daily basis -- and i got the reminder yesterday of what happens if i am less than spiritually fit! i watched the ravages of active addiction in the life of another addict during an extended 12th step call. it filled me with feelings of sadness, powerlessness, and gratitude. here is a fellow traveler who has been around the program 20 years and yet is unable to string together more than 2 or 3 weeks of clean time now. although i probably would not use if right away if i decided to stop doing what i have been, i know that it could be me sitting in that chair coming down from a 3 day run -- and i do not want to be in that spot ever again.
i only have today, and this morning i made the decision to do what i need to remain clean today. while this does not guarantee that i will not use it does reduce the odds.
i am currently stepless and assignmentless for the first time in a while, but that does not mean i do not have things to do to maintain my spiritual growth. i still have to do my daily inventories, my daily prayer and my daily meditation if i expect to continue along the path i have been chosen for and i do believe that somehow i was chosen to recover and that this is a gift to be nurtured and cherished just for today.
-- DT --
i do need the reminder that i must work on my spiritual condition on a daily basis -- and i got the reminder yesterday of what happens if i am less than spiritually fit! i watched the ravages of active addiction in the life of another addict during an extended 12th step call. it filled me with feelings of sadness, powerlessness, and gratitude. here is a fellow traveler who has been around the program 20 years and yet is unable to string together more than 2 or 3 weeks of clean time now. although i probably would not use if right away if i decided to stop doing what i have been, i know that it could be me sitting in that chair coming down from a 3 day run -- and i do not want to be in that spot ever again.
i only have today, and this morning i made the decision to do what i need to remain clean today. while this does not guarantee that i will not use it does reduce the odds.
i am currently stepless and assignmentless for the first time in a while, but that does not mean i do not have things to do to maintain my spiritual growth. i still have to do my daily inventories, my daily prayer and my daily meditation if i expect to continue along the path i have been chosen for and i do believe that somehow i was chosen to recover and that this is a gift to be nurtured and cherished just for today.
-- DT --