Some memes

to create a life i value. so far this morning, it has meant setting a boundary that i will strictly enforce. well, actually two, the first being that i will not work next Wednesday. the second and most important one being that the man who wants my times to work the traditions respect me by setting up in advance when i take his call and calling on time, two things he has been unwilling or unable to do. time is my most precious resource these days, and even if have more uncommitted time in my life, it does not make it any less valuable. it may be petty, but i have come to the place where i feel disrespected when others fail to be prompt to meet a commitment. the feeling is real and i will not deny, swallow or deflect it. what i choose to do, is evaluate what is going on. shit happens and someone being late because of a slow moving train, an accident or an unexpected event in their lives, is not only forgivable, it is also forgettable. someone being tardy because they have “poor time management,” well that may be a horse of a different color. i cannot change them, but what i can do, and what i have done in the past, is to move beyond the hurt i may feel and add consequences for their behavior. he one case in my life right now, is that i told him he has one hour of my time, if he shows up fifteen minutes late, that is how he chose to spend the first fifteen minutes of the hour i agreed to give him.
part of the life i value, is learning how to be more social. what i am discovering is that i am far more social than i have ever thought i was. i am certainly not a extrovert, but i am no an introvert either. my source for this day was about being hospitable to the newcomer. that particular topic is one i have worked to death. i did not read what i wrote a year ago, but i am fairly certain that it went something like, i look for the ones that are hanging on the outskirts, that none of my peers are reaching out to, and engage them in a conversation about what they are looking for and how i can help. although these days, thanks to retail, i probably come off warmer and more sincere. the truth is, i am much more willing to talk to the newcomer one-on-one, rather than a part of a crowd. my intent is to make them feel welcomed and be able to ask those awkward questions that were once a part of who i was. questions like can i trust you guys? will i be able to do this? will you accept me as i am? those were the questions i was afraid to ask, way back when. i do not know if someone allowed me to ask those questions, if it would have made any difference, as i was more than a bit resistant to this whole recovery gig. i do know that allowing someone to have that opportunity, one-on-one, may be just the sort hospitality i can provide today.

∞ DT ∞