Blog entry for:

real control over just about all facets of my life, drugs just being on the top of this list. i live a FIRST STEP on a daily basis, and although i know many step technicians who make a journey through the steps time and again, i am grateful that my sponse has yet to move back on yet another step cycle. in fact, even though i know that day is approaching, i am also quite certain that i am not burning down my life nor am i living in the insanity of denial. I AM AN ADDICT and I AM POWERLESS over addiction.
what i heard this morning, as i sat, was a whole lot of quiet when it comes to considering my relationship with STEP ONE. it is ironic that a peer who once called me his sponsor asked me for suggestion on how to help one of his peers work step one. that little question took me way back, to the very first time i worked with another addict. i too, wanted to ask my sponse, what to do, BUT decided to take what i was taught and what was passed down to me from those who were already in the rooms and develop my own manner of passing the torch, as it were. my reply to him, not my first sponsee but my current peer was that i would not cheat him out of the opportunity to discover for himself, his manner of doing the exact same thing, passing the shared knowledge and wisdom, on to the next generation. i know that will go over like a lead balloon and he will be pissed about not getting the answers to his homework, but in my experience with him, he can be very intellectually lazy.
moving into the real world, it is time for me to gather myself and traipse down to the local cigar store for a little bit of football and some less than politically correct conversation. it is certainly a great day to be reminded that addiction never takes a holiday, so i too, cannot take a recovery holiday, either. that is, of course, i choose to allow myself to slide into a “slip” which is a term i really despise as it sugarcoats what actually happens., specifically i CHOOSE TO USE!

∞ DT ∞